I talk a lot with people who get to the career stage where they know what they want to do ‘when they grow up‘, but they’re not exactly sure how to make it happen. Mostly, they do nothing about it. They wait for the perfect time to take action. When they feel ready. That’s a mistake. I know it because I have the same ‘wait for the right moment’ mindset.
- Waiting for ‘the right moment’
This is how I wasted an entire year waiting for ‘the right moment’. In college I took the Social Sciences Methodology exam 4 times. It took one year to pass that exam. The first time I sat there I answered all questions but the last one. I thought: ‘Damn. I’m not going to score the highest for one stupid question’. Then I had an idea. I could get up, tell the professor I didn’t want to take the exam after all (after 2 hours I’d been sitting there) and leave. I could have taken it again in three months, anyway I had already studied, I was prepared, what’s the big deal? ‘In three months I’ll get the highest score. It’s worth it’, I said. So that’s what I did. Three months later I sat the exam again. Only, this time I didn’t know how to answer two questions. I was pretty pissed off. Damn. ‘What am I going to do?’, I thought. Easy, I got up and did what I did last time. I explained the professor that that time I did not want to take the exam either. Which led to a very weird conversation. Anyway, three months later I sat the exam again. And again I didn’t know the answer to two questions. At that point I felt like crying because I was wasting so much time. Yet, with all the frustration in the world, I got up and left. My professor told me in 15 years of career he never saw anybody leaving the same exam three times. He also called the University student office and convinced them to give him my cell number. He called me to see whether everything was all right. The fourth time I took the exam I scored the highest. My family congratulated me and said: ‘Good job!’. And then added: ‘About time…’.
And I also did the same at work, by the way. Several times. At times it still happens today, although I keep my tendency tight under control. But whenever I lower the guard, the old ‘wait for the right moment’ mindset just pops up and I can’t resist. Take this blog for example. In my mind I should have launched April 1. I’m 4 months late. Why? Because on April 1 I felt I wasn’t ready. So instead of getting 4 months of valuable feedback from readers (or at least some google analytics data that could tell me how I was doing) I postponed launch to September 1. Today is August 7 and I still feel I’m not close to ready.
Break the pattern
There are two things you could do when you realize you’re stuck with the ‘wait for the right moment’ mindset.
1. DO NOT wait for the right moment.
This is simple to do but difficult to come to terms with. What I’m suggesting is, prepare as much as you can and jump, even if you feel you’re not ready. 9/10 times you’ll be fine. If you’re not, you’ll have learnt something valuable anyway. Some great lesson you’ll want to tell your friends.
A few years ago I applied for a position in Amazon that I really wanted. I thought: ‘It’s definitely the wrong moment’ but I applied anyway. I passed the first round and was invited to have 5 interviews in one afternoon (got in at 1pm and out at 7pm, can you believe that? Are they nuts in Amazon?). For the whole time I was there, I never once felt comfortable. Everybody else seemed to be more experienced, smarter, better, even nicer to look at! In the end I didn’t get the job. But when they called me a week later to provide feedback they did mention I did a great interview. Maybe it was true, maybe not. What I got out of that day was: ‘You know what? It felt wrong all the way through. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was expecting hell, I didn’t even get burnt. I can do it again’.
2. Build your right moment.
The right moment doesn’t exist per se. You have to build it gradually. Every day you must do something to achieve what you want. Especially if you find it difficult.
One of the things I am not comfortable with is networking through social media. I would hire someone to do that for me. But hey, I really like having this blog project, and the success of a blog depends on content and networking. Yesterday I thought: ‘Ok, on monday I’m going to do something to network with people’. Then I sat down and said: ‘Why not today?’. I found a compromise. I said: ‘Ok, I’m going to contact this girl Melissa who used to live/work with Penelope Trunk. But that’s it for today! One try, 5 minutes’.
I saw her website with her photos and she’s really good. I wrote her on Facebook, she accepted my friendship. It took 5 very weird minutes (‘Isn’t she going to think: “what does this guy want?”‘). Today I’ll do that for 15. I’ll contact maybe 2 people more. Tomorrow I’ll shoot for an hour and on top of bothering people I’ll leave some comments to some posts I liked. By the end of the week I’ll dedicate one hour every day to networking. And I won’t feel weird.
The right moment doesn’t exist. You have to build it. Do it gradually. 5 minutes today, 10 tomorrow, 20 the third day and 50 the fourth. There you go. I guarantee you’ll feel weird the first 5 minutes and totally comfortable the last 50.
Why don’t you try and let me know how it went?
Find one thing that you keep postponing. It can be anything. Cleaning the house (start with 10 minutes today and increase 5 minutes daily), going to the gym, planning a holiday, telling your boss why you deserve a promotion, opening your blog. All it takes is 5 minutes today.
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A good lesson learned Alex. I find with success stories (and I’ve read and met a lot) timing DOES play a role but often the individual is not as in charge of it as they like to think, so in other words plunge in right now. I agree with you.
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Hey Alex,
I really like the idea of building the right moment – and congratulations on the new blog to prove your point. And, what is the right moment for you, btw? Are you working towards a different kind of career than the one you had before you started writing here?
-Emily.
Hi Emily. Good question. What am I building my moment for? Down the line I’d like to work with people to help them thinking in a more ‘entrepreneurial’ way. I decided to start doing it this way.